Five or six years ago I discovered Louise Penny and her series of Inspector Gamache Novels. I'm a big fan of these books, especially in audio book form and I'm listening to the 18th book currently. They are so much more than mysteries stories, with a mix of serious moments, humor, lovable characters, and even profound moments.
Around halfway through the series she titled a book "How the Light Gets In" which she explained is in reference to the lyrics of "Anthem" by Leonard Cohen:
Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That's how the light gets in
This theme is one I feel deeply: the idea that our imperfections, especially the parts of us we feel are damaged, are actually what helps us let light into our lives.
Yule-time (the winter solstice) seems the perfect time to be thinking about letting the light back in as the days will get longer and nights shorter with each coming day. The time leading up to Yule is often considered a time for introspection or shadow work by pagans.
This fall has had a lot of soul searching and challenges for me. I was reminded of parts of myself I feel are somewhat damaged and that I can't fix them to be perfect or okay or normal. I have learned to mostly live with those things and to hopefully become a better and healthier person because of them. But things can, and this fall did, happen which can open those cracks back up. That can be painful and hard to face.
This week I'm reminding myself that those cracks are okay. Nobody is perfect and no life is perfect, but to quote my favorite movie "What doesn't kill you, defines you" (Zero Effect, 1998). I'm defined by what I survived and what I choose to DO with what survival. So I choose to let my cracks be what they are: cracks. They are a part of who I am, even if they are not perfect or pretty. They are what helped me to become stronger, to build a life I love, and to let in the light.
In closing I wish you the best holiday season and a reminder that it's okay to be a little cracked. Nothing is perfect. That's what's beautiful. That's how the light gets in.